Spring equinox
Cleaning house of old belief systems
March 2023
I haven't been called to write or send a newsletter in a while. Spring for me is always a mixed bag of emotions but particularly it means new growth, new beginnings and of course, lighter. I'm reminded that my mind often takes me to what I haven't finished or how I'm not worthy enough for certain things. It never seems to be content with just what is.
I don't know if this is true for you, but March is a difficult month for me. It's my birth month and with it comes lots of questions of my existence and of my purpose. You may or may not know that I am adopted. When I was younger, I thought and talked myself into believing that all was right in the world with my being adopted. I was perfectly content and never wanted to pursue looking for my birth family. And please don't be mistaken I still do feel all is right with being adopted but for me it brings a deep inquiry of what my body consciousness holds from before the day I was born. Prior to having my children, the mere thought of being pregnant both invoked the feelings of fear, shame, and disgust. Where could I possibly have learned that? My adoptive mother always marveled at pregnant women, and she would also say how much she wished she could have been pregnant with me. She was blessed to have a successful pregnancy and birth with my older sister who was 14 years my senior. After that she had a series of late term miscarriages which led her to the process of adoption.
Throughout my growing up and life I always said I was going to adopt and not put my body through that. It wasn’t until getting pregnant and giving birth to my first daughter that my perception of pregnancy and birth changed completely. I still smile every time I see a pregnant woman and I marvel at those beautiful bellies and what happily awaits their arrival date. On the day my first born arrived I looked lovingly in her eyes, and I was overcome with love and joy, but I said out loud you're the only blood relative I know. This profound realization in me began the quest to know answers to my beginnings and to at least find out about my birth family.
I'm going to jump ahead where I often say to my clients that most of my classes came from, the Upledger Institute, and those classes and this work have saved my life. The miraculous stories I could share could fill many books. It was through these classes and receiving the work I did from experienced practitioners where I discovered my inner consciousness that had nothing to do with my experiences in my life. This consciousness was from the ancestors and most importantly my birth mother at the time she gave birth to me.
As I said earlier, this has been a difficult month for me. Just a few days ago I said to my friend that this birthday has me in all kinds of knots inside and extremely confused. I said in an anguished tone I just wanted to get there already so I could be done with it and over with it. Then it hit me as if a tidal wave of knowing washed over me, “oh this isn't mine this is must have been how my birth mother felt as she was approaching the due date.” I can only wonder how a 17-year-old with a large growing belly at a wayward home for girls could feel. Probably spending her days and nights just waiting for my arrival so she could get it over with. She didn't get that experience in enjoying the end result after a long-anticipated pregnancy, labor, and delivery. As I allowed myself to process this awareness and knowing my body shuddered and I released, and I felt my birth mother who passed almost four years earlier reached her arms out to me taking back all those feelings that were not mine. It felt as if she was waiting for this moment to assist me so that I can for once in my life feel at peace with my birthday. I am grateful for that experience. It has left me with a new anticipation, rather than a dread of my upcoming birthday. There's so much more to share but I wish to keep newsletters short, so more will come.
My wish for you on the spring equinox is to ask your guides and angels and deceased loved ones for help with clearing old beliefs and fears from your consciousness. My sense is they want to assist us we just must ask them to do so. Traditional science now proves that if someone's afraid of snakes it usually comes from their cellular consciousness of their ancestors. I challenge you to kind of look deep inside and see what limiting beliefs are holding you back from your fullest potential.
Use this time of spring as a time to release old stagnant beliefs and allow new healthy ones to flow in with ease.
It is my honor to share these stories with you and I hope you find peace and love in your heart now and always.
In love and light
Kimberly Ann Egberts